We are born with many needs and desires. We need to live, to be free, to love and be loved, to explore and to grow. We desire to be happy. We can be happy, even under very trying circumstances and genuine hardships. We can be unhappy, even if we are blessed with great material wealth.

Maslow described a hierarchy of needs. According to his model we need to fulfill our fundamental needs before we can fulfill our higher needs and develop fully as individuals. I am not convinced Maslow got it right. I think his principles apply broadly, but once we get beyond survival and safety needs, I believe we can fulfill any of our needs according to our own priorities, and we can strive to fulfill our higher needs at a fairly early stage in our development.

As for happiness, I think there are two kinds. First, there is a pleasurable, but transitory type of happiness. Food, drink, entertainment, and the pleasurable release of tension we experience through laughter, sex or many types of thrills can bring us happiness for a brief time. Dr. Steven Reiss differentiates such feel-good happiness from a second, more lasting form of happiness – value-based happiness – that he links to the search for meaning. What kind of goals do we set to give our lives meaning? For some it is fulfilling a duty, doing something that we feel we are obligated to do. For others it is accomplishing a worthwhile task or realizing a life-long dream. Our best shot at immortality is creating something that lives beyond us. Without a feeling of purpose or self-worth some people don't see the point of going on, even when surrounded by things that make us feel good temporarily. Remember Richard Cory.

So how do we find the type of happiness and fulfillment that comes about through discovering what is truly meaningful in life? How do we identify and satisfy our purpose in life? I think we must each discover that for ourselves. My dreams are not your dreams, nor are yours mine. We must each find and follow our own path. I suspect that each of us has a purpose, and discovering and fulfilling that purpose is the most meaningful thing we will ever achieve. We are not created with cookie cutters; we are not all the same. We should not let someone else define our purpose for us, whether that someone is a parent, a spouse or a priest. It's OK if we receive help, guidance and support, but if we do not define our own purpose, our own goals, we are not likely to be happy, even if we achieve those goals.

So how do we differentiate long-term, value-based happiness from fleeting, feel-good happiness? And if we figure that out, how can we pass this wisdom along? People have been searching for a way to express the difference for millennia. Explanations are not necessarily easy. Reiss suggests that we cannot achieve value-based happiness by aiming directly for it. We must let it come to us as a by-product of doing the right thing and satisfying our most important basic desires. The Stoics used the term "eudaimonia" – the happiness we derive as the result of a well-lived life. They believed we could achieve it through the pursuit of virtue (the type of virtue synonymous with excellence). Aristotle thought we could achieve happiness through moderation and the pursuit of 12 virtues (and the avoidance of 24 vices). Pick a philosophy that appeals to you that offers a meaningful path to happiness, and you will probably find a piece of what you need there. I don't think that any philosophy gets it all right. I am suspicious of any that say they do.

Each of us is different. Some things that ring true to me may fall flat for you. Pursue your own truth, find and be true to your own sense of purpose. Live a full life, and love well. If you find meaning, you will find happiness.

(Originally posted May 14, 2009)